Day: September 29, 2012

Stranger-Danger… and Getting Lost on a Hike

A friend posted the following link on Facebook

Dateline Stranger Danger

I only watched the first few minutes, which did make it seem that there is a very high rate of “sneaky” abductions by strangers. I’m not so sure. I heard that most danger comes from family friends, acquaintances and relatives. And drive-by, grab-the-kid and pull-her-in-the-car type abductions.

But the amount of time we spend teaching our kids never to talk to strangers is huge, compared to the other 2 scenarios. I guess one is not as easy to talk about, and one we try to prevent by not letting our kids walk anywhere…

That said, of course I did talk to Leilani about it, multiple times, staring when she was two or so. Even about the lost puppy and injured kitten part.

I remember when I was her age, the baker once gave me a ride to school. He recognized me and stopped and offered me a ride, halfway to school he realized I had not recognized him. He kind of lectured me, but then somehow let my parents and/or my teacher know. And there was a lot of lecturing and yelling…

But we personally experienced situations where children had been taught not to talk to strangers: Not to kids they did not know. Not to their friends parents. And what about complete strangers when lost on a hike…

Leilani goes to a home school study group that we really like. She has a nice teacher and friends to study with 2×4 hours a week. Thursday was the last day before fall break, and the hike leaders did not pay close attention. A group in the front started running, Leilani was to far from the group in the back, front teacher took off after the kids, and Leilani and an 8 year old boy took the wrong turn, the one you’d take hiking back to our house.

It took a few minutes for them to realize they had not seen the other kids in a while, so Leilani asked a complete stranger, a female hiker if she had seen a group of kids, when she said no Leilani asked to borrow the cell phone and called me. I was still on the phone, by then with the owner who offered to bring them back up to the picnic-tables and already driving out of the houselots when one of the teachers (a marathon runner) came running down the trail…

So the 8 year old boy hadn’t approached the hikers. Had he been over-warned too? How much of a good thing is too much? How much of a risk do I create by letting Leilani talk to any stranger as long as we are close by? How much opportunity are the kids missing who believe most strangers are evil and would snatch them in a heartbeat. And how much fear do we create…

Leilani once scored a beautifully woven coconut leaf basket, a pair of barley used shoes (too small though) and some pretty corrals when she saw a beach bum going through trash and litter and getting recyclables. She knew where a bag of cans was, let me know she was going to bring it to him and did. They were far enough that I could watch, but not understand what they talked, then Leilani ran off with her friends (and I kept an eye on the bum) who wove his basket, then came over to me and brought me the stuff to give to Leilani.

Leilani needed to tell that story at show-and-tell in the study group. I stressed that she should tell I was right next to her the whole time…