Month: May 2013

Uninvited!

A day before Leilani’s great presentation Robin sent Andy this email

 

From: robin
To: Andy
Sent: Tuesday, May 28, 2013 9:36 PM
Subject: In regards to this Thursday

Dear Andy,

After much reflection and multiple upsetting events these last few months, and your last minute decision that Leilani will not be attending
school tomorrow, a critical day before our final presentation, I regret to inform you that I have decided that Sonja
is not welcome to attend Thursday morning, our last school day of the year. It is our hope that Leilani and
you, Andy, will attend and participate for the sake of all our students, and families.

After almost 30 years of teaching this program, I know it to be essential to our school community that we have a solid working alliance, communication and cooperation between the parents/families and the staff at KEA Homeschool. Unfortunately, this has not occurred for all of us.

Leilani has been a lovely addition to our class this last year, and our staff has observed how much she has benefited socially by being a part of our group.

Please let me know that you and Leilani will be here Thursday. We all would appreciate Leilani being a part of our last, special day.

Sincerely,

Robin

 

Just as added explanation: Andy did not let Leilani attend as there was a hike planned that day, and I had not spoken to, phoned or emailed Robin in over 2 months. Kauai is lovely, but sometimes I feel like I do not jhave enough choice here…

Or, read the full story here.

And just because it’s cheaper than psychotherapy and made me feel better:

And the grade report 2012/2013 just so you can see how much Leilani learned in the second half of the year… lot more Cs here…



The Last Day Of School

After the last big blowout I decided not to talk to Robin anymore. I am really bad at de-escalating, and especially when I am still mad at a person… but maybe I should start where that last post left off. And since that last post also has a previous post, that is here.

So… mid-March, after my public meltdown Robin had sent Leilani’s stuff home, soaking wet as she had put an open water bottle on top of all the books, drawings and worksheets that Leilani had made in the past 7 months. I dried it, really spent hours on patting things dry, putting 2 rolls of paper towel between the pages, and pressing them with the help of huge stacks of books. Once they were dry I realized how little progress Leilani had made in English. It was highly upsetting, as the English language was the main reason for me to send Leilani there. In the beginning of the school year she was half-way through 1st grade, and that is where she was in the middle of March. Leilani had written about 300-500 words during that time (as a comparison, during that same time she finished 2 composition books at home, and a German workbook, wrote letters, postcards, birthday cards and emails.

Andy and Leilani wanted her to stay and finish the school year. Andy agreed to interface between Robin and me, drive Leilani to school, and pick her up most days, the few days I did it I barely left the car, and stayed at least 20 feet from Robin and did not speak a single word with her. Andy and I both agreed on continuing our demand that Leilani would not be taken on hikes, field trips, etc. without Andy being present and Andy relayed that information to Robin.

Robin sent me an email, saying Aloha and that she’d forgive me or something, I don’t quite remember, just that some of the details really raised my blood pressure. Andy deleted it, and said he’d manage and I did not respond.

I was not happy with the math they did, so I bought a new math book in the beginning of April, Andy brought it to school, asked Robin to use it instead, and according to him Robin agreed to use it … but to this day not a single page had writing on it, (came back today on the last day of school.)

For the last weeks Robin demanded Leilani’s days to be switched from Monday and Wednesday to Monday and Thursday, so she could be there when they’d rehears their big end-of-school presentation. We agreed, but Tuesday evening Robin informed Andy that there would be a hike on Thursday as well. Since Andy was on the mainland he could not go, and he knew I would not go either he asked to switch back her going on Wednesday. I did not even ask to hear the details of that conversation, as it is not good for my stress-management.

I brought Leilani on Wednesday, cancelled my appointments for Thursday and did not talk to Robin.

This week the same thing happened… Robin and Andy talked on the phone, Robin demanded Leilani to be there for both rehearsals on Tuesday and Wednesday. She also talked Andy into allowing Leilani to go on a “little” hike with them on Wednesday. Of course that was very much against all the agreements that I remembered, and had also given Robin in writing back in March. (“Given all this, I must insist that Leilani may not go on any field trip unless Andy or I are present for the entire trip, or one of us gives signed and explicit written permission which needs to include date and location of the field trip.” )

At the end of the school day Tuesday Andy thought better of it, and since he did not have the time to stay the whole day, and Robin did not want to call him 15 minutes before the hike so he could attend, he decided to not bring her to school the next day. She did offer to cancel the hike, but since we already once heard once that “…we can not do fun stuff when Leilani is there because your mommy does not allow it…” Andy choose to not take her up on it. At least I think that was his main reason… (and no, Andy does not approve of this post…He did forward me the email but preceded it with“This is FYI, and not to be shared or forwarded. It will create a lot of social conflict if you do.”)

—– Forwarded Message —–
From: robin
To: Andy
Sent: Tuesday, May 28, 2013 9:36 PM
Subject: In regards to this Thursday

Dear Andy,

After much reflection and multiple upsetting events these last few months, and your last minute decision that Leilani will not be attending
school tomorrow, a critical day before our final presentation, I regret to inform you that I have decided that Sonja
is not welcome to attend Thursday morning, our last school day of the year. It is our hope that Leilani and
you, Andy, will attend and participate for the sake of all our students, and families.

After almost 30 years of teaching this program, I know it to be essential to our school community that we have a solid working alliance, communication and cooperation between the parents/families and the staff at KEA Homeschool. Unfortunately, this has not occurred for all of us.

Leilani has been a lovely addition to our class this last year, and our staff has observed how much she has benefited socially by being a part of our group.

Please let me know that you and Leilani will be here Thursday. We all would appreciate Leilani being a part of our last, special day.

Sincerely,

Robin

So, Andy drove up to the school, talked to Robin and I called my friends to try to see what was up, if they knew what I had done. I mean, I realize I am socially awkward, clueless, and don’t just have one foot in my mouth, it could be both and then a hand on top of it… but if I avoid someone to that extend for 2 months, not even I manage to say something bad, tactless, or cause any other trouble… Nobody knew anything. Andy talked Robin into letting me attend, and under the conditions that I behave, and stay civil and stay away from Robin. So I got permission, but I do not want to go. Andy and Leilani really want me to go, it’s Leilani’s big day… I went anyway, behaved, and did not really enjoy it (although I am glad I did, as Leilani was great)

Eden’s Birthday Party




And March Against Monsanto



April – Outings

Trash beach dump is being dug up

At the lighthouse

Andy and Leilani went to Wailua Beach



Orchids Festival 2013

For once we did not make it camping… Mikey… but we still went to see the orchids, and Makana and to crow at the rooster crowing contest.








Leilani won in her age class.








Feet! I almost forgot about feet photos.