Andy and I are both slightly socially handicapped. We are not full-blown geeks, but we do have some troubles getting conversations started, especially with strangers, and it takes quite a while until people are not strangers anymore. I am the more extroverted person, so people notice it less, maybe also because I often try really hard to be open and make contact. Older relatives have told me I was very shy as a kid.
Leilani is very different from both of us: when she sees kids – newborn to young teenager – she coos, flirts, smiles, and if nothing else helps sticks out her tounge… She really wants to meet children, and enjoys their company, even at the height of “stranger anxiety”. She only allows 4 or 5 familiar adults to hold her right now, but she will happily allow a 6 year old she has never seen her before to pick her up.
Yersterday in Hilo at the airport she was really bored. I didn’t want her to crawl too much on the filthy floor, so I held her by both hands and let her walk – she went straight for a family with 3 little boys, 5 to 8 years. I looked up and saw them all watching us and smiling 3 boys**, parents, grandparents… – I am still not used to all this friendlieness, Leilani has smiling karma, I think my entire life before she was born I saw less smiles than in the past 9 months… anyway. Leilani had started the smiling and they were all looking at us and smiling back. I mean…. I could not just turn her around and walk away… my heart pounded, from some misguided stagefreight…. I had to talk to an entire family of complete stangers… I did, awkwardly but I did. They were incredibly nice. Once I said hello and introduced Leilani, the boys took turns playing grimacing, singing, crawling on the floor in a make-believe catch game, Leilani was laughing loudly and enjoying all the games and attention so much.
I think a lot of the social behavior is learned, I really hope she keeps her friendly open ways. Often I admire some of our completely outgoing, spontaneous, smalltalking friends, it seems to open so many doors…
**On girls I would not have been surprised, but it turns out the mother runs a daycare in their home, and they constantly have babies there, and the boys just love them.
