Uninvited!

1 thought on “Uninvited!”

1. So Robin continues to badmouth me, and of course the coconut wireless immediately carries it down the hill… in a way I wish people would just stop, but when they talk I just need to hear it all…

   So Robin says, the reason, Leilani did so poorly in school and did not learn a thing is, I did not let Robin give Leilani homework. This is the email in question, sent August 9th 2012.

   Hi Robin,

   I think the homework assignments are too much for now. Leilani took over 4 hours so far, just language arts, the second part of the reading (the making her own book); the story she picked took an additional 20 minutes to read (1000-1200 words). And she is not finished yet, there are another 4 pages in the first grade workbook.

   In my opinion, 10-20 minutes of homework plus reading are appropriate, but on the days I teach her–Tue, Thu and Fri–I do not want to do additional homework with her for now. Here’s are my reasons:

   – I do not want to dampen her enthusiasm by dictating she should read shorter stories, or write less or make shorter sentences. I know I could have shortened it, by taking your suggestion of not copying the sentences about whales and taken 10 minutes off, but the total is still a lot.

   – Leilani and I have found an equilibrium in the last year, her school day is very self directed, and flows easy. I do not make a plan and stick to it, I allow her to be tired, or wanting to do more of one and less of another thing. While I believe some discipline is necessary, I think at that age there is a great need for play time, and within school – especially when its at home – a need for balance of structured / teacher dictated activity, and self chosen / teacher assisted activity. I do not want to give up all that I have learned about her in this past year, and completely change the style and what I am teaching or retry what I already tried without success before.

   – On the days that I teach her at home, I do not want to teach her in English. I am not good at it, and that is one of the 2 main reasons that I signed her up with you. My spelling might not be that bad (and thank god for spell checkers), but correcting spelling and grammar takes me five times longer than it does in German. It is important to me that Leilani learns German. I want to teach her German, not as a second language, but as her mother tongue.

   – I do not want her to catch up with the current 2nd graders, but want her to end up in a class with the current first graders. Leilani is not far behind 2nd grade, so what we have been doing at home could not have been that bad. I fell that right now she just needs to cruise along, it does not matter if it takes a bit longer to complete a workbook. I do not want that kind of pressure on her.

   – She might be a bit slower than the average second grader in her writing, or in the way she does her worksheets, and I’m OK with that. She is easily distracted and that means she takes longer to finish exercises. Her ability to focus is not where the school system requires it to be for 2nd grade, but I feel it’s appropriate for a 1st grader.

   Let me know if you feel we need to further discuss this, I’ll be happy to come in and talk about it again, or read your reply.

   Aloha

   Sonja

   The answer was given by phone – “OK, then she will get NO homework”

   3 times after that I tried to explain that I did not oppose the homework, I just wanted less than 20 minutes.

   In retrospect, and after counting written words – this initial 4 hour homework had as many written words as the average 6 weeks school period.

   But then, of course Robin insists I am making up these emails, and she has never seen them, as well as that there were never any supervision problems, beat to pulp lunches, bullying, cut feet, lost kids on a hike… and that “Sonja’s just delusional.”